The Gay Man's Oscars (aka The Golden Globes)

Tonight marked the night I look forward to more than any other night of the new year. That's right. The Gay Man's Oscars: The Golden Globes.

While everyone else looks forward to the AMPAS' celebration in February, I set my sights on this boozy, pill-addled riot-fest of an awards show where stars look natural in their native habitat. Where else can one see things like Jodie Foster reduce grown actresses to tears by simultaneously coming out of the closet and cheekily retire from acting, all while Amy Poehler mugs with perfection in 'man-face' with George Clooney and Julia Roberts tries desperately to remain relevant? It's the Golden Globes, people! And this year featured the dynamic duo known as Po-Fey (i.e., Amy Poehler and Tina Fey) as quite possibly the best dual hosts ever. (Seriously, can these two host everything that will ever be from now until the end of all things?)

Here are some of the night's highlights (thank you Seth Meyers and the entire SNL writing team!):

Amy: "That's what makes tonight so special. Only at the Golden Globes do the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat-faced people of television."
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Amy: "It was a great year for film, for women in film. Kathryn Bigelow nominated tonight. I haven't really been following the controversy over Zero Dark Thirty, but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron." (BOOM. Genius.)
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Tina: "Of course we want to thank our hosts tonight, the HFPA, for having us. Amy, tell the people a little bit about the HFPA."
Amy: "Yes, Tina, well, when left untreated HFPA can lead to cervical cancer. However, there is a vaccination-"
Tina: "No, no, no, Amy, that's HPV."
Amy: "Oh, I'm sorry. Of course. The HFPA is the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, and when left untreated-"
Tina: "No, no. She's kidding. There is, uh, no known cure for the Hollywood Foreign Press."
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Tina: "The beautiful Anne Hathaway is here tonight. Anne Hathaway, you gave a stunning performance in Les Miserables. I have not seen someone so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars."
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Amy: "Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu. And I hear she's amazing in it."



What a night for a coming out party. Congratulations, Jodie Foster for showing your pride with dignity and grace and to Po-Fey for an amazingly hilarious job well done. This is why I love The Globes.