Things We Learned #1 (Things We Learned from 'Sleeping with the Enemy')

#10)  It's possible to get a job that pays enough for rent & bills with no social security number or references of any kind.

#9)   Rental houses in small towns only have rotary style phones. (Especially in Iowa.)

#8)   You can keep an OCD sufferer's house spotless, yet never appear to actually clean anything.

#7)   Gymnastics training causes bruises.

#6)   Foods from a can are fine, but they'd better be in pitch-fucking-perfect formation in the cupboard. Or else.

#7)   Julia Roberts in male drag looks like Jeff Foxworthy.

#6)   Before shooting your abusive, estranged husband, there's always time to place a quick phone call.

#5)   You'll easily hit and shatter lightbulbs on light poles more than 10 feet high, in 5 tries or less.

#4)   Much like drinking at 10AM, if you have sex before it's 1PM, it's considered 'a little too early for this.'

#3)  A wedding ring flushed down the toilet will eventually find its way back up the plumbing drain pipes, so probably best not to flush it.

#2)  Ditto for the 6 inches of hair you cut off to disguise yourself. (See #3)

#1)  Saying you 'support' someone's job is just a fancy way of saying 'I allow it.'