I'm Han Solo

There is no special reason for this post. Other than the YouTube video which inspired it. I spent this Saturday night learning each move, and not just because I wanted to master the 'Chewie Hug.'

Kinect Star Wars Dancing - 'I'm Han Solo'

Things We Learned #1 (Things We Learned from 'Sleeping with the Enemy')

#10)  It's possible to get a job that pays enough for rent & bills with no social security number or references of any kind.

#9)   Rental houses in small towns only have rotary style phones. (Especially in Iowa.)

#8)   You can keep an OCD sufferer's house spotless, yet never appear to actually clean anything.

#7)   Gymnastics training causes bruises.

#6)   Foods from a can are fine, but they'd better be in pitch-fucking-perfect formation in the cupboard. Or else.

#7)   Julia Roberts in male drag looks like Jeff Foxworthy.

#6)   Before shooting your abusive, estranged husband, there's always time to place a quick phone call.

#5)   You'll easily hit and shatter lightbulbs on light poles more than 10 feet high, in 5 tries or less.

#4)   Much like drinking at 10AM, if you have sex before it's 1PM, it's considered 'a little too early for this.'

#3)  A wedding ring flushed down the toilet will eventually find its way back up the plumbing drain pipes, so probably best not to flush it.

#2)  Ditto for the 6 inches of hair you cut off to disguise yourself. (See #3)

#1)  Saying you 'support' someone's job is just a fancy way of saying 'I allow it.'

The Gay Man's Oscars (aka The Golden Globes)

Tonight marked the night I look forward to more than any other night of the new year. That's right. The Gay Man's Oscars: The Golden Globes.

While everyone else looks forward to the AMPAS' celebration in February, I set my sights on this boozy, pill-addled riot-fest of an awards show where stars look natural in their native habitat. Where else can one see things like Jodie Foster reduce grown actresses to tears by simultaneously coming out of the closet and cheekily retire from acting, all while Amy Poehler mugs with perfection in 'man-face' with George Clooney and Julia Roberts tries desperately to remain relevant? It's the Golden Globes, people! And this year featured the dynamic duo known as Po-Fey (i.e., Amy Poehler and Tina Fey) as quite possibly the best dual hosts ever. (Seriously, can these two host everything that will ever be from now until the end of all things?)

Here are some of the night's highlights (thank you Seth Meyers and the entire SNL writing team!):

Amy: "That's what makes tonight so special. Only at the Golden Globes do the beautiful people of film rub shoulders with the rat-faced people of television."
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Amy: "It was a great year for film, for women in film. Kathryn Bigelow nominated tonight. I haven't really been following the controversy over Zero Dark Thirty, but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron." (BOOM. Genius.)
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Tina: "Of course we want to thank our hosts tonight, the HFPA, for having us. Amy, tell the people a little bit about the HFPA."
Amy: "Yes, Tina, well, when left untreated HFPA can lead to cervical cancer. However, there is a vaccination-"
Tina: "No, no, no, Amy, that's HPV."
Amy: "Oh, I'm sorry. Of course. The HFPA is the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, and when left untreated-"
Tina: "No, no. She's kidding. There is, uh, no known cure for the Hollywood Foreign Press."
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Tina: "The beautiful Anne Hathaway is here tonight. Anne Hathaway, you gave a stunning performance in Les Miserables. I have not seen someone so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars."
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Amy: "Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu. And I hear she's amazing in it."



What a night for a coming out party. Congratulations, Jodie Foster for showing your pride with dignity and grace and to Po-Fey for an amazingly hilarious job well done. This is why I love The Globes.