#10) It's possible to get a job that pays enough for rent & bills with no social security number or references of any kind.
#9) Rental houses in small towns only have rotary style phones. (Especially in Iowa.)
#8) You can keep an OCD sufferer's house spotless, yet never appear to actually clean anything.
#7) Gymnastics training causes bruises.
#6) Foods from a can are fine, but they'd better be in pitch-fucking-perfect formation in the cupboard. Or else.
#7) Julia Roberts in male drag looks like Jeff Foxworthy.
#6) Before shooting your abusive, estranged husband, there's always time to place a quick phone call.
#5) You'll easily hit and shatter lightbulbs on light poles more than 10 feet high, in 5 tries or less.
#4) Much like drinking at 10AM, if you have sex before it's 1PM, it's considered 'a little too early for this.'
#3) A wedding ring flushed down the toilet will eventually find its way back up the plumbing drain pipes, so probably best not to flush it.
#2) Ditto for the 6 inches of hair you cut off to disguise yourself. (See #3)
#1) Saying you 'support' someone's job is just a fancy way of saying 'I allow it.'
